Been A Long Time, Medium Folks
All the latest news from my personal Lake Woebegone, as it were.
I don’t even know where to start. So much has happened in the last three months. Not just in my life, but also the world. The steady decline of all our fortunes towards the inevitable wreck and ruin we were promised hovers on the horizon. Lol
I’ve left my fiance, moved house, and doubled down on building my small business. My kids had to move schools, start new friendships, and handle losing our dogs. I am a small messy ball of emotions surrounded by a marshmallow of weed and coffee flavoured fluffiness. Also, I haven’t had any nicotine in over six weeks.
I know it is success to have made this move and to have kicked the cigarettes, too. But…I can hardly bring myself to care. These are the birth pangs that bring forth something entirely new. The sudden wash of loneliness that icily swallows my whole heart at once comes and goes in a tide, with no warning. It hurts to change. There is no escaping that pain.
When a woman cannot be a soft, gentle woman because the world is full of horrible, hard men, she herself becomes hardened. And the joy only leaks out in tiny bits through her eyes when her friends make her laugh. The face is stone.
And the ability to be vulnerable with you all, or even myelf has been stolen away for some…