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The Authentic Eclectic
Failing to Implement Self Control Can Also Be Hilarious, Despite What My Therapist Says
“Want some orange juice?”
“Sure.” said my eight year old daughter as she slid into the breakfast nook.
I grabbed the juice carton, it lifted far too quickly and easily. Some m’f’r has put the juice back in the fridge empty. I live with two young girls and an adult man — everyone is now a suspect.
My latest attempt at self control involves forcing myself to sit down immediately on the floor and shut my mouth. I haven’t used this technique once since I came up with the idea but it sounds great in theory.
Note to self: I really need to run this one by my therapist. I slept through last week’s session and can’t wait to ask her if I am still crazy this Friday.
Anyway, I eyeballed the coffee on the counter and slammed the empty juice carton down on the sink side. That coffee and I had an inevitable, necessary union ahead of us — NOW.
After I had that first sip, I turned to daughter the second. “How about some decaf tea, G?”
“Okay, mum.” She’s pretty easy-going in the mornings, but sometimes so easy-going that she doesn’t get dressed or brush her hair if I don’t ride her like a pony.