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What Your Hitchhiker Is Really Thinking
First — They are thinking “Thank G-D! Finally someone pulled over!”
Second — “Man I hope this isn’t a weirdo.”
Third — This one depends on if you’re a weirdo or not.
a)If you aren’t a creepy jerk: “Thank the Lord, this person doesn’t look like they have a rape van/organ farm/sex ranch/hidden hypodermic.”
b)If you are are weirdo or just seem off: “Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. No thanks.”
After this first most basic of interactions, it either ends in a nice conversation while you both travel together, or you end up wishing you’d gone Greyhound.
Among my favourite rides received while hitching through America was the tiny, blond woman in her fifties driving a little Kia type four by four from Nashville, TN to Amarillo, TX. She was going to see her Daddy in the hospital. She gave me a ride the whole way! When she picked me up, I was wearing a pleated white polyester nurse’s dress I had picked up in a thrift store somewhere and had a shaved head and a backpack. I am sure I smelled pretty bad. She was Southern, kind, and like an auntie you wouldn’t want to disappoint. Thanks, Lady!
Another time, less fabulous, was the young Army fellow on leave who gave me a ride near Tuscon, AZ. When I didn’t agree to have sex with him, he dropped me…